The following video-poem popped up in my memories today and so, was moved to share. (see below) It seems relevant because i find i am still carrying much grief + loss in many forms and it’s been for a while. This poem i wrote way back during Covid days (while we were still in lock-down) and…
• above photo, “ol’ dusty, crusty resonant rose” by weaver © 2022…
I had offered a ‘letting go’ ceremony + wrote a poem—for me…all of us… to somehow express how much loss + grief we all had experienced during the pandemic, for whatever reason… so much so where, “this hurts too much”… 🔥
I recall that at the time, i found, that i was so full… of so much, that i was called to get out and go to the ocean—to ceremonially blow and allow all that grief and loss go, cuz it sure just wasn’t serving me. So, off i went with a dry crusty rose in hand and mindfully blew all my ‘stuff’ into that old rose then gently placed the rose into the arms of Mother ocean… then all that ‘stuff’ simply swam away. Mother ocean lovingly held and filled me back up with the light of who i truly am.
Later, i was inspired to share my poem as a one-minute video with “The Compassion Project—Dance to the End of Love” created by dear friend, Celeste Snowber, PhD, who is a beautiful dancer, poet, writer + award-winning educator.
At the time, i didn’t feel i could offer a dance per se, though felt that ol’ dusty rose offered her resonant ‘dance of compassion, love + light’ on my/our behalf. Celeste welcomed others to participate by submitting and at the end of the project a video was put together showcasing. x (((💜))) 🌹💧🌹
Below is my poem in video form along with a snippet of the ‘letting go’ ceremony i had offered at our local beach in 2022. Also, below my poem are a few other resources of how i’ve personally dealt with some of my grief…
this hurts too much
i’m tired
flat tired
this
‘hurts too much’
fills me up so much
so
i blow
every fibre core
muddy sticky
heavy thread
tangled fringe
that doesn’t
belong
in
to you
old crusty
dusty
dried
resonant
rose red
who willingly
holds
light
truly who i am
this ‘hurts too much’
sacred breath
blowing
tears flow
out
drain the ‘hurts too much’
awkwardly
mindfully
i let it all go
to
our
salty blessed
ocean
mother
she
who holds me
back
up as
old
‘hurts too much’
slowly
swims
away
held.
—carol weaver, video/poem copyright © 2022
Here are some other links to my posts about my process of Grief… may they help you…
• “Grief + Sadness can Weight Us Down…” a ancient, simple mindful practice that can help lift the heaviness of grief… https://open.substack.com/pub/drumweaver/p/grief-sadness-can-weigh-us-down?r=fjl0c&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
• “Intuitive Coincidence… Perhaps?…” my grief unexpectedly showed up within my art practice… https://open.substack.com/pub/drumweaver/p/intuitive-coincidence-perhaps?r=fjl0c&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
• “thank you, i trust…” an older post about my uncertainty that covid-time brought re my grief… https://drumweaver.substack.com/p/thank-you-i-trust?r=fjl0c
• Also, fyi, here is that final video compilation of the one-minute videos submitted to “The Compassion Project-Dance to the End of Love”… (36:59 mins in length)
So very beautiful, Weaver❤️❤️❤️