my heart strings sing…

oh, how fragile, yet so strong we are…

As the winter solstice approaches promising new light, i ponder over this last year of 2024 and all we’ve been through… sparking me to remember the first drum i birthed, nearly thirty years ago…

my heart strings... on my old elk soul, my dear friend...

Many of us, including me, have been struggling with various health issues + close calls with emergency trips to the hospital and more. It’s been quite the year to say the least.

Back then, while i was apprenticing along with a beautiful circle of women, my dear sisters, i had been put in charge of taking care/prepping of many rawhide pieces soaking overnight in my studio’s bathtub… I can still smell their rich pungent scent, so alive, full-soaked weight that grounded me deep. The elk hide, chosen not by my hand though by spirit, awaited to become something new, to be reborn: a heartbeat, a voice for our blessed earth mother.

I wrestled with my drum’s headstrong strength, my fingers aching, shedding of many tears + prayers threading through every pull of the lacing. My teacher’s silence during was both a test and blessed gift, compelling me to find my own way… to reclaim my own strength and empowerment. When my spirit drum eventually came into being, she revealed herself within her wet surface—a white wolf’s face gazing with open, kind eyes through the hide, an ancient, wise, living spirit… i also caught a soaring bird from her back, holding me up sound, soaring as one with spirit holding me.

Years later, a Métis elder recognized her and sang her spirit into being, naming her Grandmother Wolf. Her song carried the wisdom of the earth, the resilience of all, our beloved ancestors who have walked before us, holding our backs dearly, completely. Grandmother wolf’s essence continues to live within my drum and through me…still, teaching...reminding me to pause often… to listen + honour the pulse of life that joins us all.

strong hide soul pulled sound

wolf fire hums through my drum

heartstrings exquisite

—weaver

And those lacings on her back—rawhide stretched tight, which offers Her beautiful voice—reminds me of the paradox we live: strength woven with fragility… even after decades, they hold strong... even after everything, so do i...

My drum sings and pulses of connection, of resilience, of love’s enduring power of our blessed earth mother. We know we wouldn’t be here without Her. She whispers that it’s okay to be both vulnerable and strong, to bend, expand…to remain whole. Through her, i’ve learned the rhythm of belonging, the grace and immense gift of being alive within this present moment… thank you!

“i am a part of the perfect rhythm and the flow of life—all is in divine right order…”

Oh, how fragile, yet so strong we are…

with much love and light and may 2025 bring much joy + good health!

weaver x (((💜)))

a last note… It is known that our heart strings (chordae tendineae) can sometimes break after a deep emotional trauma, causing the heart to lose form and, as a result being unable to pump blood effectively... where one could literally die from a broken heart... x

above photo of our heart strings (tendons) inside the human heart... hmmmn… x